Wake up call

Magic, science. Both are actually the same. I'm writing this to help people understand that.

A first group of people consider magic to be product of pseudo Latin incantations, magic circles and mystical, complicated hand gestures. The most known kind of wizard in the western world answers to that archetype, from Disney's Sorcerer's Apprentice to Hogwarts, but if that were the case, then magic wasn't born/discover at least until the romans, and then only by they and the conquered peoples. However, there's different magic traditions all around the world. The Irish had their druids, the American Indians and other tribal peoples had their shamans, Chinese and Japanese got their own kinds of wizards too... So it should be clear to nowadays wizards that Latin was not the first, of course not the only way to harness magic. And just the same could be happening with the oldest known wizard lineage.

Now that we agreed that there are several ways to do magic, let's take a look at science. A lot of people has been indoctrinated in that, by saying certain words, performing certain gestures, following certain rituals, things happens. Sometimes they had added the "enough will/mana/mystical crap has to be invested" for it to work. The thing is that it's not like that at all. Of course they still believe it and they can do pretty good cases at it. I mean, it actually works, but they just don't understand well enough what they are doing. I mean, take the case of a light switch. A 2-year-old child knows that he can turn on the light by flipping the switch. To him, that's magic, his method works, and still he doesn't understand that when you flip the switch you are closing an electric circuit, that electrons were being pushed in the circuit by the electrical force and that when it closes they have a way to go, so they went, and when they pashed through the light bulb's philament the heat's dissipated by they're passing through the resistance makes it hot enough to become incandescent and that only because the bulb has no oxygen that philament doesn't burn off, et cetera.
Well, it's the same with all the people indoctrinated to believe that magic "works" a particular way and, of course, that it's something mystical.
Arthur C. Clarke said that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, but that was not new, the same thought had been proposed in 1942 by Leigh Brackett and in 1932 by Charles Fort. The advantage is knowledge. You don't need to know how powder works to be able to use a handgun or even to craft one if somebody tells you what to do, and that's the point. Somebody tells you how to get a particular effect, shows it, you try and get it, you believe that by doing A you get B and then two things happens. Either you're satisfied with that and a little experimentation on A, trying to get something similar to B, or you ask "Why?"

Exactly like science.
Why things fall?
Why lightning goes for tall targets before low ones, and metallic before non-metallic?
Why smoke is different depending on what you burn?
Why the light color is different depending on what is in the light bulb?

There are whys everywhere, and the scientific method is just a set of tools made to get an answer to whys unrelated to what the researcher wants to believe.

Until we all accept that, magic will be mostly a religion that actually works, but since the scientific method was broadly taught the technology (applied science) and science have advanced quicker and quicker, and when most wizards stop following the indoctrination they were taught and start using their ability to understand, then magic will likewise advance quicker and quicker, and just as with technology, the way to a whole magic-able humankind will be open.

Las cosas que más lamento son las que no hice

Las cosas que más lamento son las que no hice.

No soy el primero que dice algo así y dudo que vaya a ser el último. Creo recordar haber visto fotos de personas importantes y bien consideradas diciendo lo mismo, pero quizá sea un poco como ese proverbio irlandés: "las lágrimas derramadas son amargas, pero aún lo son más las no derramadas". Queda muy bien, todo el mundo lo entiende, todo el mundo lo acepta.
Y todo el mundo sigue aguantando las mismas lágrimas que aguantaba antes.

Ni siquiera tengo 35, pero me doy cuenta de cuantas cosas no hice, y con lo que ha estado ocurriendo en el último medio año, viendo dónde estoy ahora, cómo estoy, creo que me he equivocado con las prioridades que he dado a cada oportunidad, a cada deseo, a cada sueño.
No digo que otras personas no deban tomar las mismas decisiones, puede que para otros funcionen bien, pero sí tengo que llamar la atención sobre el miedo y el auto-engaño.

El miedo va primero porque es más fácil. Cuando digo miedo, incluyo todos los niveles, de inseguridad hacia arriba. El miedo va primero porque con mucha frecuencia te darás cuenta de que algo te asusta. A veces te asusta el camino a lo que quieres: No te asusta dedicar tu vida a algo artístico, sino los años de seguir instrucciones, guías y patrones. A veces te asusta lo mismo que quieres: ser escritor, pero que a nadie le guste lo que escribas, que no puedas ganarte la vida con ello y tengas que abandonarlo, demasiado tarde para dedicarte a tu plan B.
A veces el miedo te hará plantearte tus opciones y valorar que sí es demasiado riesgo, que no merece la pena, y que tu plan B tiene una mejor relación deseo/riesgo. En mi caso, no me arrepiento de dedicarme a la programación. Me parece una ocupación apasionante y me permite ganarme la vida con ello, olvidarme de ello cuando termino la jornada o seguir con mis propios programas si quiero seguir. Ray Bradbury conoció una vez a un chico que quería ser escritor y estuvo toda una mañana con él, explicándole cosas. Una de esas cosas fue "Si quieres ser escritor, tienes que escribir todos los días. Aunque estés cansado, aunque no te apetezca. No importa, tienes que escribir todos los días."

Viajar me daba miedo. Llegar a un sitio es bastante fácil, pero una vez allí ¿y si no consigo hacerme entender? ¿y si no entiendo a nadie? ¿y si me pierdo? ¿y si...?
He tenido varios días felices en mi vida y varias buenas temporadas, pero la temporada en la que más feliz me sentí de ser yo fue el mes que pasé en Japón va a hacer siete años. Claro que estaba nervioso, a pesar de haber aprendido algo de japonés en aquel entonces seguía inseguro, pero desde que me senté en el avión estuve entusiasmado, y desde entonces la idea de aprender idiomas y viajar ha sido una de las cosas que más he disfrutado.

La otra era la idea de enamorarme, que esa persona se enamorara de mí, que nos casáramos, tuviéramos hijos, fuéramos felices... Un sueño de movimiento y cierta inestabilidad y otro de estabilidad, como dos asnos atados entre sí, cada uno tirando hacia un pasto.

Es bueno leer a otras personas porque a veces te das cuenta de que no eres el único que se siente como te sientes. Amanda Palmer sentía inseguridad frente a dedicarse a la música. No he oído muchas canciones suyas, pero si alguna va a gustarme, aún no la he oído. Sin embargo, sí leí The Art of Asking y lo recomiendo encarecidamente a todo el mundo, especialmente a quienes se sientan identificados con la sensación de inseguridad. Una figura que aparece una y otra vez en el libro es la Policía del Fraude. Es el nombre que le da ella a esa inseguridad, a la parte de uno mismo que te hace pensar "¿Pretendes cantar esto? ¿Pretendes vender esto? Eres un fraude. Aún no se han dado cuenta, pero lo harán si sigues intentándolo"

Ella siente esa inseguridad sobre su música, pero es lo mismo sobre toda la inseguridad.
"No eres una buena entrenadora, si sigues fingiéndolo se darán cuenta y dejarán de contratarte.";
"No eres una buena música, si sigues fingiéndolo se darán cuenta y dejarán de escucharte."
"Sólo eres un programador mediocre, si sigues fingiendo ser más, se darán cuenta y te echarán."
"No eres lo bastante bueno como para que te quieran. Si sigues fingiéndolo, se dará cuenta y te dejará."

Por supuesto, lo peor de la inseguridad, el miedo y la desconfianza - también hacia otras personas - es cuando llevan razón. Y puede que habitualmente lleven razón. En esas ocasiones siempre dicen lo mismo "Te habíamos avisado. Esperamos que la próxima vez hayas aprendido a hacernos caso."

Sin embargo, la cuestión es que tiene la misma base para apoyar un curso de acción - dejar de cantar, dejar de enseñar, dejar de programar, dejar de salir juntos... - como la parte de ti mismo que desea seguir haciéndolo: emociones. Deseo y miedo, opuestos uno al otro, y ninguno de ellos es un buen consejero. Al final tienes que escuchar a ambos y decidir si el placer de conseguir tu objeto de deseo merece la pena frente al riesgo y las consecuencias de intentarlo y fallar, pero no puedes dejarte llevar irreflexivamente por ninguno de los dos. Y no debes olvidar considerar las consecuencias de no intentar algo, porque si fallas serás infeliz, pero si no lo intentas puede que dos días después algo te haga ver que hiciste bien en esperar o puede que pasen años y sigas lamentando no haberte arriesgado.

La inseguridad suele paralizarte, quedarte como estás es una opción que parece no tener tanto riesgo como demostrar qué es lo que quieres, intentar conseguirlo y fallar. Y la Policía del Fraude siempre está ahí, diciéndote "¿Cómo no te diste cuenta? Mira a todas estas personas - tu familia, tus amigos - Ellos también lo sabían. Si les hubieras preguntado, nos habrían dado la razón y te habrías ahorrado este dolor."

"Lo hacemos por tu bien."

Las personas a las que quieres y cuya opinión valoras - familia, amigos, profesores, compañeros - es importante, y es importante que les preguntes. La información que te den puede ampliar tu punto de vista y ayudarte a tomar la mejor decisión, es con sus emociones con las que debes llevar cuidado y preguntarte porqué dicen lo que han dicho. ¿Pretenden mantenerte a salvo? ¿Pretenden que vivas lo que ellos no vivieron, porque lamentan haberle hecho caso a sus propias Policías del Fraude? ¿Prefieren que no lo intentes, para evitar que tu éxito les haga pensar que, quizá, ellos no deberían haberle hecho caso a sus inseguridades?

Sé que parece que estoy dando la razón a ambos lados, a actuar y a no hacerlo, pero lo que pretendo es destacar que cada opción puede ser la adecuada. Lo único que necesitas - y no es algo que vayas a poder hacer siempre - es estar seguro de que la decisión que tomas es la mejor que puedes tomar con la información que tienes en ese momento.
Cuando te equivoques, la Policía del Fraude siempre te dirá "te lo dije", pero ayudará que puedas responderle "Vosotros tampoco sabíais esto."
No tomes esto como animarte hacia mantenerte en la ignorancia, porque en ese caso no sólo será culpa tuya sino que lo sabrás. Y la Policía del Fraude sabe tanto como tú, ahí queda el aviso.

No hace tanto le di a una persona especial este mismo consejo - en una versión abreviada - Con bastante frecuencia pienso que la relación ya ha desaparecido, que no soy más que un invitado indeseado y que ella es demasiado cortés como para decírmelo (Policía del Fraude, ¿eres tú?), pero, igual que animarle a ella a vivir y tener en cuenta que va a lamentar las cosas que quiera hacer y no se atreva, pensé que quizá alguien lea esto algún día y que ver desarrollado el slogan con el que empezaba pueda hacerle ver que realmente es algo más que un lamento estéril, que no es "lamento lo que no hice, pero estoy mejor no habiéndolo hecho y no cambiaría nada".
En absoluto. Cambiaría muchas decisiones, cuanto antes me permitieran hacer los cambios, más cambiaría todo. Por supuesto, no se puede. El tiempo que pasa no lo recuperas jamás, pero darme cuenta de las oportunidades que no me atreví a coger - o a ver si realmente eran oportunidades o sólo quería creer que lo eran - me hace pensar que quizá pueda ayudar sirviendo como ejemplo de lo que no hay que hacer.

El autoengaño es más problemático y a veces se mezcla con el miedo: "No es que me asuste intentarlo, es que sé que no voy a tener éxito". No me interesa tanto la mezcla como el engaño en sí. Es más difícil librarse de él porque puedes volverte muy bueno manteniéndote engañado. ¿Cuándo tienes que prestar atención? Cuando algo te haga pensar que algo que tienes no es tan bueno como te gustaría. Si alguna vez tienes esa sensación, necesitas detenerte y prestar más atención porque puede que realmente no sea tan bueno como quieres creer.

"Habla mal de los demás a sus espaldas, pero nunca lo haría de mí."
"Sólo ha sido esta vez."
"Ha sido varias veces, y siempre me pide perdón. Es sólo que le cuesta controlarse."
"En realidad, no tiene tanta importancia."
"En el fondo, me quiere."
"Si sigo queriéndole, descubrirá su amor hacia mí."

Nadie va a quererte porque le quieras mucho.

Si alguien no cambia cuando estáis juntos, en realidad no estáis juntos. Es muy bonito decir que no hay que cambiar, que las personas no cambian, o que cambian por amor, pero ninguna de esas cosas es verdad por completo. No cambia una parte de la forma de ser y no cambian los gustos, pero sí cambia el comportamiento. Hay cosas que nunca le habían interesado lo bastante como para hacerlas por su cuenta, pero las hace contigo. Hay cosas que quiere que compartas con él. Y esas cosas, al hacerlas juntos, adquieren una nueva dimensión. No le da igual hacerlas por su cuenta. Le siguen gustando y las hará por su cuenta si no puede hacerlas contigo, pero preferirá hacerlas contigo.
Si a una persona no le afecta que estés o no, eres prescindible aunque diga lo contrario. Incluso si cree sus propias palabras. A todos nos afectan las personas a las que queremos, a todos nos gusta pasar tiempo con las personas a las que queremos y hacer cosas juntos.
No es que no haya querido ser más agradable con otras personas, tener la facilidad que otros tienen para relacionarse, pero con Adela me resultaba más fácil. No sólo había alguien que podía guiarme en las cosas que no había hecho hasta entonces, sino que tenía más facilidad para ver si lo conseguía o no. Sí cambiamos por las personas a las que queremos, cambiamos a mejor en la opinión de ambos.

Si sientes que no funciona una relación, no "sigas la corriente". Puede que la otra parte también esté siguiendo la corriente o puede que crea sinceramente que va a mejorar o quizá no tiene ni idea de que algo va mal. Tienes que decirlo, tienes que hablarlo. Hablar de lo que está mal, por supuesto, y hablar de lo que está bien, porque lo que está bien es el motivo por el que querer arreglar lo que no funciona.
En cualquier caso, nunca aumentes el compromiso si la relación no funciona.
Nunca esperes a que la otra parte dé el primer paso.
Por si acaso, cuando digo que "tienes que hablarlo", es con las personas con quienes tengas la relación.
Y esto es para toda relación: amistad, amor, padres, hijos, hermanos...

No vas a gustarle a todo el mundo. Ni a todos a los que quieras gustar, por mucho que les quieras.
No puedes sentirte culpable por algo que te gusta hacer. Si no haces daño a nadie, sigue haciéndolo. Deja pasar a quienes te hagan sentir culpable por el placer que sientes. Eso sí, si haces daño a alguien, no pretendas que no lo haces o que es su culpa. Vas a tener que elegir entre seguir haciéndoles daño o dejar de hacer algo que te hace sentir feliz de ser tú, y eso va a dañar o acabar con vuestra relación tarde o temprano, así que tanto da que sea ahora.

Eres la única persona que va a estar contigo siempre. No siempre estarás contenta de ser tú, ni de ser como eres, ni de tus deseos, tus impulsos, tus emociones, tu aspecto, tus capacidades... Pero es lo que tienes. Quizá puedas controlar o liberar tus impulsos, cuidar tu aspecto, mejorar tus capacidades, pero querer no es poder. Trabajar duro no es poder. Podrás avanzar, pero habrá sitios a donde nunca llegarás, capacidades que nunca tendrás, y cuanto antes aprendas a distinguirlo y aceptarlo, menos te decepcionarás a ti mismo.
Como eres la única persona que va a estar siempre contigo, no puedes permitirte no ser feliz. Si no puedes hacer feliz a otra persona puedes apartarte y dejar sitio a alguien que pueda, pero si tienes que ocultarte para hacer las cosas que te hacen feliz, si estás con alguien que no es capaz de apreciar esas cosas, entonces esas personas no son buenas para ti, porque acabará frustrándote tener que ocultarte para hacer algo que ves bien, acabarás sintiéndote culpable por las cosas que te gustan, por los rasgos que te gustan de ti mismo y enfadándote con quien está contigo porque parezca avergonzarse de esos mismos rasgos.
Y puede que no tengas tantos rasgos que te gusten como para despreciar los que tienes. Sólo hay tristeza y decepción en ese camino, y aunque dejes de hacerlo, no te lo agradecerán, porque las personas a las que no les gustaba piensan que te han mejorado y que eres tú quien les debes una, por haberte hecho ver lo malo que era que te sintieras bien siendo tú.

Y tarde o temprano te darás cuenta de que no te quieren a ti, sino a la persona en la que creen que pueden convertirte y que el tiempo que has pasado amándoles lo has pasado intentando convertirte en esa persona que tiene menos cosas que te gustan de las que tenías antes.

En algún momento - deseablemente - te darás cuenta de esto y dejarás de sentirte culpable por no estar a la altura de las expectativas de personas distintas de tu propia persona, aceptaras que lo que te gusta de ti, lo te hace sentir bien contigo mismo, tiene desventajas, pero que merecen la pena. Empezarás a vivir sin miedo a ser tú.

A aquella chica le dije que me daba envidia - está viviendo sin (o a pesar de) ese miedo desde mucho antes - y ojalá leer esto ayude a alguien a darme la misma envidia.

13th Age, Icon ideas

I really liked the idea of 13th Age's Icons. For the ones who don't know, the idea is to have an array of more or less generic characters in the world, interrelated, to whose forces the player characters can have relationships with. You could be a survivor of an Orc Lord attack, a guard in the Archmage's city, a soldier in the Priestesses' one, a cultist of the Great Gold Wyrm...
Those relationships are described with a kind (among three, a relationship is either good, bad or conflicted) and a number, indicating how often it influences your live.

The core book also suggest other uses beside what icons have some interest in each session's play, but I miss a more particular hook into the stories. I mean, a history about a group of heroes fighting against the Orc Lord? Sure, go ahead, but if no character has any relationship with the Orc Lord, Elf Queen, Emperor or Dwarf King it may seem a bit far fetched. At least a bit more than if the characters have such relationship.

What if the first session of an adventure could determine the main icons of the story? Since I discovered Polti's arguments in the GM's survival guide they became a kind of exercise to me. A few stories in this blog are result of such. The thing is to select randomly one or two arguments, maybe a complication, and a style (The argument could be "Disaster", but the story is far different if the style is "Horror" or "Action") and try to get something out of that.

This suggestion means a lot more work to the GM, but it may be worthy. Instead of deciding beforehand who has which role in the story, you just select the argument and style. For instance, I randomly select a Mistery story, with clues, investigation, roleplaying... The argument is Involuntary Love Crime: there are two lovers, and one of them committed an infidelity against the other one, but as results of an error, drugs, a curse or something. Now let's say the icons rolled by your players are the Great Gold Wyrm (positive relationship), the Crusader (positive relationship) and the Elf Queen (conflicted relationship). Just so you know, I just rolled them too. You've got some clues to who the actors of the story are. Let's say that there's a female paladin of the Great Gold Wyrm and her husband is another paladin with a more sinister bent. He belongs to the same order, but it the last months he's been thinking that the Crusader's way of dealing with demons (namely, enslave them and using them against other demons) has its advantages. While he was away, she went with other paladins to share stories and toast to the absent comrades. Unbeknownst to them, one bottle was faerie magic wine, and the next morning the wife and her husband's best friend woke up together in bed. The discovery of the infidelity could be the final straw that pushes the husband to the more violent, more ethically arguably way of the Crusader, besides breaking a marriage, a friendship and weakening that order.
Who got the faerie wine? Was it an accident or an ambush? Were they the intended targets or otherwise? If the real targets were the head of the order and whoever woman he could find under the wine's intoxication, maybe the puppeteer will try again, and the PCs have two problems to solve.

What if the icons where Great Gold Wyrm (positive), Orc Lord (negative) and Emperor (conflictive)? Let's keep the paladin husband. He is tricked by a captain of the emperor legion, gotten drunk, and awakes in a brothel. The captain is secretly in love with his wife - something the wife can know about or otherwise - and he wanted to provoke the infidelity to get them to divorce and get a chance with her. Or maybe he just was jealous of the admiration the people was giving the paladin and wanted to show his moral weakness. Or maybe he wants to blackmail him. The result of all this could be that the captain has to leave the town with the forces under his command a few days before an orc horde attacks the town.

Of course this approach means more improvisation work, but the stories will always relate to a PC's icon. Actually there are chances of no icon influencing a particular story. There's 30% probability a particular PC's relationships don't matter, that makes it about 0.2% in a 5 players group of no icon involved. You'll have to design every adventure giving some thought to which icons could be in every place. If your group has their characters created already, that work simplifies because you only need to consider their icons.

If you can't get any ideas for a particular icon, check its Allies & Enemies section, looking for the simplest way to relate to the icons you got.

What if the Icon's morality depends on the player choices? The core book uses some guidelines to limit the value of PC's relationships with the icons, depending on what kind of icon the icon is (good, evil or something in between) You can let your players choose whatever relationships they want (except for the 2-point negative, that's for the players not to be so single-minded fighters against a particular icon's interests) and then use the relationships to shape the icons:
- Somebody has a 2-point negative relationship with an icon? That icon is not going to be "good"
- Somebody has a 3-point conflicted or 2/3-point positive relationship with an icon? That icon is not going to be evil.
What can result from that?
An ambiguous or evil archmage: Maybe he's more interested in magic than in the preservation of the empire. Maybe he's secretly interested in the Lich King's necromancy knowledge.
An ambiguous or evil Great Gold Wyrm: after so much time fighting restlessly hordes of demons, it could have grown to be more like the crusader in a destroy everyone, just in case, way, unbeknownst for or kept secret by his followers. Or maybe he was corrupted and his goals now are not avoiding demons to pour into the world, but conquered them and then pour them.
An ambiguous or evil Priestesses: Richelieu? Rodrigo Borgia?
An ambiguous or good Orc Lord: Maybe he's fighting for a place for his forces, for long time oppressed by the Empire legions. Maybe most the bad things and brutality they say about him is but Imperial propaganda.
An ambiguous or good Diabolist: The Diabolist could be the one keeping in check the devils. Everyone likes the golden scales of the Great Gold Wyrm and people has learned to relate horns and leathery wings with devils, so the popular opinion still is that she's evil, but she could be a selfless mage looking for a way to keep the world safe, even if that way means she's hated forever.
An ambiguous or good Lich King: For his point of view, the new emperor could be nothing more than an usurper of the throne. In the first age he fought against that time Orc Lord to defend life and civilization, so he could have been heroic. Maybe he used the lich-thing as a last resort method to keep fighting for his people, no matter how many soldiers died, he could raised them to keep the living from the horrors of the war. Maybe he was then betrayed by his sons, who shared out the authority over the people and became the new emperor, the new archmage and the first centralized head of all religions.

Icons need names and maybe other looks. From a generic point of view, the icons work great because they are the "slots" for a lot of characters, but any world needs more customization. Fading Suns's Emperor Alexius is an emperor, Sauron, the necromancer of the Hobbit or Arthas Menedil, are Lich Kings, any Pope or important cardinal of our world aspired to fill the Priestess slot. Elminster is an Archmage, Thror is a Dwarf King and Galadriel an Elf Queen.

I suggest that you decide on the icons names, gender and other traits like you did they're morality, guided by the PCs relationships. Ask the players who chose to relate with a particular icon about how that icon is (to help define its morality), how they see it (maybe they go for an Empress, the dwarven kingdom becomes a matriarchy led by a Queen and the Priestess becomes the Pope) and suggest names for them (keep it serious, thought)

And, of course, things could shift unexpectedly. Star Wars' emperor could be an Emperor or a Lich King, Darth Vader could be a Crusader, Yoda and the "live force" sounds like a Druid or an Archmage... Same roles, different morality, different relationships between them.

And every campaign you play will be more player bent, less generic-flavored and thus more personal for you and your group.

13th Age, Icons

After some friends introduced me to 13th Age I discovered I like it. There's not as much detail as in D&D (3-4), its rules are more streamlined (without being the IMO oversimplistic system in D&D 5/Next), but, above all, the system forces you to think about the character.
I have read and heard a lot of complaints about D&D 4, how it "prevented" the players from getting into character with all the skill challenges and the encounter-block-kind-of-adventures, and I have long pointed that the system actually doesn't prevent from acting, just starts rewarding as heavily the roleplaying as it did the combat. That it's material for another post, but what I want to emphasize here is that 13th age's system you are kind of forced to think about your character by two core things:

1. The Unique Thing: every player character has something that marks him apart from every other member of its race and class beyond game traits, feats and other customization. What's more, being a unique thing it means it allows the player to intervene in how the campaign world is. A few examples of how to do that are given in the core book. If your character is the only halfling in the Emperor's legions, then there's no one more. In other worlds, in other campaigns, in other teams there could be, I don't know, a imperial halfling scout platoon, but not in yours. See what just happened? Now there's another world in which there exists the Imperial Flying Stones, a halfling scout platoon.
What's more interesting of the Unique Thing is that it can't have mechanical effects. Story effects? Sure, of course; just not mechanical.

2. The Backgrounds: instead of a skill system 13th age tries to make you think how, where and/or why your character knows what it knows. For every character class they suggest a few cool inspiring background examples, like barbarian's Wolf Tribe Member but above all encourages the player to invent the ones for the character. My first character was a fighter from the Gray Imperial Legion who had participated in a joint forces thing with a Dwarf King's army's platoon.
The backgrounds are as open as the players and the GM (gamemaster, just in case) accept them. I could have used my background with the dwarven army to understand a few dwarven words or to improve how well I can find my way in a dwarven city or the big cavern networks so frequent in these kind of games.

So, yeah, no game system prevents you from roleplaying, but there's at least one that forces you to.

Not quite here, not quite there

Memories rescued in their way to fire and oblivion,
the incomplete mark of trash erased from them,
one hand throw them away, mine got them back
because I still miss that...

Woman in cold, artificial light, fake smile,
almost like an unknown person
showing herself to detached border guards.

Image of past love,
simple tees, simple jeans,
simple lives.
Open sky, dark granite
and a lovers' kiss.

A pale yellow flag showing eternal love,
kiss beyond end, beyond death, beyond time,
memories of warm summer, of a second family.

Hugging before the lens,
smiles under summer's sunlight,
memories of river's cold water,
of swimming among flowers,
and a hundred crabs making puns
while kissing was all that mattered.

Had they lost their worth? Not for me,
and they sat hidden with my mementos,
unprepared to become this open secret,
a mute testimony that, after all,
I still miss that...

Autumn kiss, got-it smile and
fake reddish curls under a red, stained hat.
Nights of music and happiness.

A hug and a kiss from behind,
under a bright, sudden light,
no doubts about the future,
no doubts about the love.

A pretty face, a half smile in penumbra,
the winter's sunlight half blinding,
the touch of the skin, the confidence in the eyes.

More summer smiles and trusting gazes,
internet tags between a forest and a prehistoric hamlet.
Kisses and laughs over the multiple greens her land has
Wanting to keep the images forever,
meant to be viewed in old age,
to help trigger sweet memories.

These photos full of confidence, full of love,
without space for doubts,
without space for its future,
without space for my now.
I still miss...

She.
Surrounded by people I grew so attached to.
A child I played with, won't remember me.
An old woman who always greeted me dearly,
a man who presented smiling memories of a hard past,
nostalgia leaving only the good part.
A young girl and her insecure smile
that has grew into a wonderfully, beautifully brave one;
a person who completely won me by, unexpectedly,
hoping for the return of happiness to both of us.

And me.
The memory that I wasn't supposed to be in the image
lest the bond be broke and the memento in sadness transformed.
The unsuspected omen of that day...
came to be.

And thought I know that it won't be again,
however wrong it could be,
I still miss it.

The gift

Alina hide her face behind her hands despite being alone, in the moonlit shadow of her bedroom, repressing the sound of her sobs to a whisper of despair. After so much risk, after so much sacrifice, after so many nights and days enduring the knowledge of being a monster, keeping her existence just because of her brothers' hope in a cure, in a day she could smile under the sunlight again... When finally hope had sprout even in her heart... Today they all had at last the answer they were looking for, but not the one they hoped for.

She would never be really alive again.

Knowing it was breaking her heart. The darkness that had been engulfing and chilling her soul was ready to swallow it all, after the breakage of that frail hope, like the last flower before the cruelest winter. The laughs, the smiles, the lovely feeling of happiness while running barefooted on grass...
All that life meant to her was going to disappear under the black tide of her inhuman fate, forever frozen, half living to the death of time.

A knock in her door startled her, raised head, opened eyes. A few seconds passed until a second knock, and then she hurriedly cleaned the tears from her cheeks, got up and, putting a coat over her shoulders, and closing it with her hand, slowly got to the door. She inspired once more and then opened it no more than a span.

- Vadim? What are you doing here? - asked when she saw the scholar's face.
- A word, milady? - asked the man
- Can't you wait? - 
- It will only take a moment, if you are so kind... - 
With a sight, Alina let the door go and went near the window
- Well, what is it? - she asked, looking at the full white moon

A moment of silence passed before she turned her face to look at her visitor
- It's... It is but a simple token, but I just came to finishing it, and in the light of recent events, I would like very much to present you with it. - 
He extended her arm towards her, some kind of pendant in his open hand. Alina frowned
- Do you think a gift is going to improve my condition? I thought you were an intelligent man. - A flash of his eyes before hurriedly looking down again was almost all his reaction to her words.
The moonlight showed him slightly biting his lip. He opened them as if readying to speak, but closed them again without a word, with a sideways glance.
- Not that much, probably. - said Vadim, again towards Alina - I am deeply sorry, having been the messenger of such bad news, and I understand that nothing could change your... condition -
Alina coldly look at him, still in a bow, as appropriate to their different status. This not only was something that could have wait, but completely unnecessary as well.
She turned again to the moon, like a huge, white eye watching people's miseries.
- Don't be daft. Of course there is. There is every day. -
Vadim look at her back, trying to decide if she had meant what he had understood.
- Milady... If a may... - 
Alina turned back, getting more and more upset, a red spark behind her pupils, her read hair playing dark under the contrast of moonlight and darkness.
- And what makes you think you may? - She asked, raising her voice
- Milady, you will never be alone, your brothers... - 
- My brothers!? - she interrupted, furious, advancing towards him, grabbing his neck and raising his body, hitting him against the door, raising his a foot over the floor and keeping him there with her inhuman strength. - You have no right to speak to me of my brothers - 
- Milady... please... - he whispered, strangulated - I... - he raised the pendant, hanging of its chain - You'll never be alone. I always will find you with this. - 
She looked at him with gritted teeth, his face was darkening from the blood accumulating. She knew he would seem bluish under a brighter light, but in the shades of the room he just looked... dying.

She drop him.

He fell to the floor, coughing and breathing as a starving man in a sudden feast. She left him a few paces while he got up.
- "Always" - she chuckled - You don't understand the meaning of that word. None of you will. Not even my brothers. If I were to follow your advice, only I would really understand its meaning, so don't dare talking to me about "always" -
- Milady, - he said, looking at her in the eye in the straightest and steadiest gaze she had ever seen in him. Or in anyone. - I really mean it. Always. Forever. If you keep this token, - continued while offering it again - then you will never have to be alone, for I will be there. - 

She snatched the pendant, the fury still smoldering in her eyes, but not knowing what to answer. They look each other for a moment more

And then Vadim bowed before the noblewoman - I shall let you rest now, then. Thank you for listening to me at this late hour - he took a step backwards and then he opened the door and left with but the slightest look back.

Alina raised the pendant and looked at it under the moonlight. It seemed to have been made from overlaping layers of silver and gold, covered with those runes his kind were so fond of. "Eternal" company, she thought, still disdainful.

But she kept it.