You've got to stop dreaming. That never helped anyone.
It helps me. Most days don't have a single reason to be lived but using a little part of my time to dream gives me hope on the next day. Dream that things can be different, that I'll manage to trust again, or that somebody will earn my trust and I learn to trust actions more than promises and my own wishes of trust
While you dream, time passes.
Blink, and a year will pass. You'll think that you're ready again, cured and wiser, and will dream that you'll find somebody you can trust in.
In a year I'll be cured and wiser, and will have learn to trust actions instead of promises and my own wishes of trust.
Blink, and another year will pass. You still won't have found that trustworthy person. You still won't like to risk your feelings again and will dream that you're still young.
Blink, and another two years will happen. You'll notice you're not as young but still alone, and dream that it's not to late, than somebody will know you enough to want to earn your trust.
It's just a few years, and I should not fall again in the same trap: I've done that enough times already.
Blink, and three more years will pass. Your friends will be engaged, married and taking care of their children already, and you'll think that you still have energy to follow their pace and dream that you still could play with children of your own.
Blink, and five more years will pass. You'll still have energy, but still be alone. You'll think that is too late, that even having children at that time, they'd exhaust you in but a few years, so you'll dream that you could have had them before
In that time, I could have found a woman who likes how I am, instead of who I can be made into. And, with her, we could have our own family, where all of us is loyal to the rest of us. Probably not liking everything of everyone else, but truly knowing each other and accepting and loving each others, despite our defects.
Blink, and other eight years will pass. You'll be alone still, and will dream that somebody will see your stability as something valuable enough to try and earn your trust... But trustworthy people will be already stable, or too young
Blink, and thirteen years will pass. You'll think it's really more comfortable to live by yourself, no need to adapt to anyone. You'll be thinking about the end of your work, and dream you'll be able to leave some kind of legacy, since you hadn't children to be that legacy
At that time, the children that woman and I had will be young adults, they will have been supported and taught that dreams have value, both to see a reason in seeing the next day and to dream a way to get where one wants to get.
Blink, and twenty-one more years will pass. You'll lay in your bed with tired eyes half shut, thinking that you should get up, thinking how strange is not been hungry, not been sleepy, but just tired, dreaming somebody could call you grandad, and laugh, oblivious to time and old age.
¡No! We'll have grandchildren by then, we'll see our children's happiness, no children anymore, and the laughs and plays of our grandchildren will prove we did well dreaming instead of settle with what we get.
Blink. You don't think. You don't dream.
You're dead
