Not quite here, not quite there

Memories rescued in their way to fire and oblivion,
the incomplete mark of trash erased from them,
one hand throw them away, mine got them back
because I still miss that...

Woman in cold, artificial light, fake smile,
almost like an unknown person
showing herself to detached border guards.

Image of past love,
simple tees, simple jeans,
simple lives.
Open sky, dark granite
and a lovers' kiss.

A pale yellow flag showing eternal love,
kiss beyond end, beyond death, beyond time,
memories of warm summer, of a second family.

Hugging before the lens,
smiles under summer's sunlight,
memories of river's cold water,
of swimming among flowers,
and a hundred crabs making puns
while kissing was all that mattered.

Had they lost their worth? Not for me,
and they sat hidden with my mementos,
unprepared to become this open secret,
a mute testimony that, after all,
I still miss that...

Autumn kiss, got-it smile and
fake reddish curls under a red, stained hat.
Nights of music and happiness.

A hug and a kiss from behind,
under a bright, sudden light,
no doubts about the future,
no doubts about the love.

A pretty face, a half smile in penumbra,
the winter's sunlight half blinding,
the touch of the skin, the confidence in the eyes.

More summer smiles and trusting gazes,
internet tags between a forest and a prehistoric hamlet.
Kisses and laughs over the multiple greens her land has
Wanting to keep the images forever,
meant to be viewed in old age,
to help trigger sweet memories.

These photos full of confidence, full of love,
without space for doubts,
without space for its future,
without space for my now.
I still miss...

She.
Surrounded by people I grew so attached to.
A child I played with, won't remember me.
An old woman who always greeted me dearly,
a man who presented smiling memories of a hard past,
nostalgia leaving only the good part.
A young girl and her insecure smile
that has grew into a wonderfully, beautifully brave one;
a person who completely won me by, unexpectedly,
hoping for the return of happiness to both of us.

And me.
The memory that I wasn't supposed to be in the image
lest the bond be broke and the memento in sadness transformed.
The unsuspected omen of that day...
came to be.

And thought I know that it won't be again,
however wrong it could be,
I still miss it.